protests

"defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and the oppressed." -psalm 82:3

some people mislabel me as a protester. but contrary to popular belief, i'm no protester. sure, i've attended my fair share of protests over the years but usually i find myself quite disenchanted by the whole event.

my first protest was downtown grand rapids. the whole world, or at least my circle of friends and those across the country who thought just like me, were up in arms about the world trade organization. large groups were gathered in large cities all over the nation protesting the wto meeting in seattle. oh...how i longed to be in that city, part of that crowd, holding my sign, hearing my own voice rise up with the voices of others who were out to change to world. because i couldn't make it to seattle, i decided to join the small group gathered downtown here in grand rapids. i hitched my modest sign over my shoulder and began to march through the city streets. about an hour in, meltdown. the protesters stopped cooperating and the police started to get rough. people were shoving and shouting. words were exchanged. and soon some of my acquaintances started getting arrested, handcuffs and everything. hats started being passed around to collect money for their bail. i had no idea what this had to do with the world trade organization. suddenly i felt quite the fool. anyone who happened to be passing through the downtown area that day probably thought to themselves, "those crazy hippy kids." they did not learn one thing about the evils of the WTO. i did not fork over any bail money. instead, i left my sign on the street and walked home.

my next big protest was in Washington DC. i finally made it to the big time. actually, i was in DC visiting a friend but happened to get caught up in a protesting crowd. it seemed exciting so i joined in. i didn't even know what i was protesting. turns out these people were trying to legalize marijuana. you know, if you like to smoke the big doobie once in awhile more power to you. but some reporter snapped my picture and i, for one, was terrified that my dad would see it. i'm high on life dad! i was out of there!

ironically, a few years later i found myself back in DC. this time i had made the trip specifically to protest. i was there to march for immigrant rights. i stayed in a hotel where a lot of other protesters were staying. there were thousands of people there ready to march the hill. it was all very organized. we were all herded onto different colour-coded buses and shipped to different parts of the city. i thought it was great until we started RAIDING office buildings. hundreds of us would rush past the security, chanting and waving signs. we demanded to talk to the "man in charge." honestly, to this day, i have no idea who we were actually talking to. i just kind of got pushed along by the crowd. i will say that it was touching to hear an immigrant woman speak her mind to this white man of so-called power. she pleaded for her children. she just wanted to educate them. the man seemed to be listening to her and it seemed like our protest was working! but secretly that man had somehow called the police. they zoomed up to the building and we could see them storming in. everyone started making a run for it! it was crazy. it was TOO crazy. again i thought to myself "what does this have to do with immigrants? now they are all going to get arrested and probably deported for trespassing. shoot...I'M going to get arrested for trespassing!" again, i was out of there! i managed to find my bus amongst all of the chaos and was relieved to be going back to the hotel. but instead, that bus drove me to some senators mansion where we were to continue our protest, hundreds of us on this man's lawn. now, how on earth would raiding this man's private home advance our cause?

later that weekend i was able to accompany a young girl into the office of a michigan rep at capital hill. she spoke quietly and politely. she said that all she wanted to do was go to college. she said that she didn't want to live in poverty any longer. that was why i made the trip.

my most recent protest was last friday. i knew president bush was going to be speaking in E. Grand Rapids near my home. i left work early to study for my finals, but i had had this nagging feeling in my gut all week. i felt like i had to go. but once i was there i again felt myself becoming disenchanted with the protesters around me. tell me, how do signs like, "Real men know when to PULL OUT" advance anything? first of all young man with the sign, your message makes absolutely no sense. while it is a clever play on words, real men do not ever have to "pull out" because they are married. your sign simply gave proof that you are, in fact, a very young man. and then there was the guy who started to argue with a bush supporter. i heard the end of their conversation and it went a little something like this: "well, ok then you son of pat robertson. you just go on believing what you believe you son of pat robertson." now c'mon dude. that is just lame. i found that guy later and told him i had overheard his conversation. i politely told him i was on his side. i do not support bush or this war. but i reminded him that words were powerful, just as powerful as any bomb. i told him that he did nothing to advance peace. and finally, those chants...they are always the same. don't you protesters think that GW has heard them all? come up with some new material!!

now you may be wondering why i even go to protests at all. i seem to despise them so much. and i really don't know if protesting even works. but i go because it is my right and my freedom to go. many, many people do not have that freedom. if they are being wronged, then it is up to me to plead their case, right? often times i feel quite powerless against injustice but at least i know i can go and physically turn my back on it. i'm no hippy kid. i don't have to agree with the signs or the chants. i just have to be a body, a presence, a back turned.

"He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" declares the LORD." -Jeremiah 22:16

sisyphus

for three years now i have been working hard, going to school, enduring quite a rigorous schedule. but last night i finished up my last exam for my last pre-rec class and tomorrow is my last day of work. it's finally on to the next step.

you could argue that my schedule is about to become much more rigorous. i'll still be in school and i'll probably working harder than i ever have. but finishing that exam last night was a real milestone for me. over the past few years sometimes i felt as if i was taking these classes for no good reason, as if taking classes had somehow just become part of my eternal destiny, my sisyphus rock. but that era is over and i'm on to the next. i can finally let that rock roll behind me and begin my decent down the other side of the hill.

but first, shenandoah.

my day off

today i took the day off from work to study for my finals. but... i got distracted. there was something that i had to do. and it took three hours of waiting.

i didn't need to see him. i wasn't the least bit curious. i was there simply to show my disappointment, my sadness, my frustration over a country gone wrong. so, when the president's car passed by me today, i turned my back.

amongst the sea of signs and chants, i hope my silent message was loud enough. -sn

what the?

the cost of my books for the summer equals $900. what the?

what's ahead

i knew i wasn't getting the money as soon as i walked into the room. there were no table cloths on the tables and no fancy drinking glasses, just a pile of water bottles in the corner. last year, when the students learned they were to receive $10,000 from the state to help them complete their rigorous year of nursing school there were fancy white cloths on the tables and clear glasses filled with ice. i remembered that from the picture in the paper. no such amenities this year. we were served sandwiches out of plastic boxes.

my orientation meeting was last Friday, Good Friday. seeing as how michigan has a 3 billion dollar deficit, we were told we would not be receive the $10,000 grant the state had promised to the program. we would have to go it alone. good thing the "good news" of Good Friday does not include $10,000. my friday remained "good."

there are 24 of us in the program. we come from all walks of life. one father of four just quit his job as an oceanographer and sold his prized boat to pay for this next year. one mother of two is going through a messy divorce and isn't quite sure what she's going to do. one girl was able to finish at Wheaton college in three years and is doing the 2nd degree program to obtain her 2nd BA in just 4 years. she is the youngest amongst us coming in at just 21 years old. some people are married. some are not. many people have children. but there are those of us who don't. some people will be driving over an hour each day to make it to class. and some of us will be riding our bikes. there are 19 females. and there are 5 males, one of whom declared that he was going to be a fireman but didn't want to be a sissy so decided to become a male nurse. heh.

i've already started forming friendships with some people in the group and i'm eager to get to know them better. had a nice chat yesterday with a gal who is married to a Nigerian, doesn't know how she's going to pay for this next year, is frightened by the "over-achievers," wants to work overseas, and was riding the bus. needless to say, we had a lot in common. i'm not married to a Nigerian, but I've been to the country so...close enough.

we are only the second group to attempt this year-long program, five semesters squeezed into just three. the first group will be graduating in 20 days. every single one of them will be walking with their heads held high. that gave me hope because after looking at my schedule, tucked neatly into a blue folder with gold lettering, i didn't have much hope. there will be two weeks this summer where i will have two classes that meet at the same time, an overlap. how do you attend two classes at once, you ask? i guess it's called prioritizing and i'm going to have to get good at that this next year. there will be times when i will have class or clinicals 7 days a week. there will be many nights where i will miss dinner. i will have to miss the wedding of one of my best friends. i will have to miss my husband's grandmother's memorial service. i think i will have to miss a lot of things...

but i'm ready. i am now the proud owner of a stethescope, a blood pressure cuff, a lab coat, and scrubs. i'm ready to face this head on, full force, no holds barred (did any of you know this is a movie starring hulk hogan?), eye of the tiger. ROAR! -sn

ps--pray for my husband.

numb

just got back from ye' ol' dentist chair. half of my face is numb. i'm one of those people who is super paranoid about the dentist finding food in my teeth, so i didn't eat at all before i went. now it is almost 1pm, my stomach is empty, and i can't even feel my lips. i would attempt to eat but i don't really enjoy the taste of my own tongue. sigh...

as a kid, i loved the dentist. mostly b/c it meant a trip to grand rapids and a visit to the mall with my mom. it meant skipping almost a whole day of school and it usually meant a kids meal at McDonald's. you see, g-rap is where my kind-faced dentist lived. and at that time, i didn't. why didn't we just choose a dentist in our own home town, you ask? well, it's because our dentist was a saint. while my dad was in seminary and my family had no money at all, this man gave us free dental service, which was no cheap task for the likes of MY mouth.! so, even years later, when my dad was making the big bucks as a CRC pastor of a rural michigan church, we continued to visit our grand rapids dentist to show him our thanks. we may have even started paying him...

when i went to college i had to choose my own dentist. there was a small office around the corner from my college house, close enough to walk to, so i chose that one. and i've been going there ever since as it also happens to be around the corner from my place of employment. for many years i thought everyone at this dentist office was just pretending. a scrape-scrape here, a pick there, a very painful floss...things any joe-shmoe could do. the people are nice enough, i'd just like to see some credentials.

last week i had my sixth month check up (give it up to dental insurance!). everything checked out just fine except for this mysterious "stain" that they have been "watching" on my lower left side for over a year now. in three weeks i will no longer have dental insurance so i laid it all out on the line. "look," i said, "you've been watching that tooth for a long time now. if there is any reason that you might think you need to do something to that tooth, do it now."

did i mention that half my face is numb? -sn