i tried to get away with it
"well, it looks like you've got a twenty-one dollar balance on your card." that was what the librarian said to me when i recently tried to check out a book from the public library. "TWENTY-ONE dollars!" i gasped. "Who has a twenty-one dollar fine on their library card?" she looked up as if to say, "you do."
i did not recognize probably 12 books on the list the librarian printed out for me. i had not been to the library in years. it did not make sense! i tried to explain that i did not recall checking out most the titles staring me in the face. embarrassingly enough the books that i did remember were all about teenage sexuality. there were titles such as SEX and TEENS, WHAT IS SEX?, TEENAGE SEXUALITY. i had checked them out to do a lesson with some of my youth group girls a few years back, but there is no way the librarian would have known that. plus, little good it did. two years later two of my former teen friends wound up pregnant. sigh...if only they knew about my library fine. perhaps they would have chosen not to "do it."
we went through the whole rigamarole, "did you ever loan your card to someone else?" no. "did you ever lose your card?" no. it's here. "did you ever check out books for another person?" no. "well, then i'm sorry but you will have to pay the fine before you can check out any more books."
at that time, i had no way of paying the fine. so, i left the book on the circulation desk for someone else to enjoy and headed home, wondering how i would break the news to brett. if there is one thing that man hates, it's senseless fines. my palms were sweating even though i did have a reasonable excuse. those books weren't mine!
brett's reaction was as expected. he told me not to pay the fine. the only problem with that solution was that i could never step foot into the library again. the thought of being ban-ish-ed was depressing. that is when i came up with my brilliant idea. i would get a new card with my new name, mrs. sara nelson.
it was a bright saturday morning. the air was crisp. i was whistling a happy tune under my breath as i walked up the street to my neighborhood library. thanks to the internet i knew exactly what i needed to obtain my new card and i had my driver's license and two other form's of ID in hand. i walked confidently to the desk and declared, "i would like to get a library card." and that is when things started to fall apart. the pressure was just too much. the librarian asked me if i had ever had a card before and i could not tell a lie. i had.
i am now out twenty-one dollars, but find myself rich with the words of fine literature.
currently reading:
-sn
posted by SN at 10:09 AM
4 Comments:
Sara-
We MUST be related! After years of checking out books using my kid's library cards...lo and behold, my own card had a 5 year delinquent fine of $22.50! I will continue to use Savannah's card.
Maybe you need a kid. :)
Janna
Well, at least figure that 21 dollars is about the price of one new book from the local bookstore. So if you've got one book checked out already, I guess it's paying for itself
Twenty-one dollars? Pshaw. That's mere child's play. Write again when you start paying the gas bill at your local library like we do. Your new book looks sexy so I have no doubt the "Teens and Sexuality" books were yours, Chester. (Chester the Molester that is)
I currently owe $6.70 (small change, i know) all for books about teaching dyslexic students, oh, and nelson mandela. do you think they would let me off the hook for that? no. they would not. we try and do some good in the world and we end up with library fines. geez. but then, according to a librarian friend of mine, we also pay about $100 a year in taxes that go to the local library so we damn well better use it.
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