contradiction

have you ever wanted something so badly and at the same time and at an equal intensity NOT wanted that same thing?

brett and i are in the process of buying a house, a new experience for us. and, it is a scary one. now, i've done a lot of scary things in my life. i've jumped off of waterfalls not knowing what was beneath me, i jumped out of a plane at 14,000 feet, i've gotten into cars with strangers and was once even driven out of guatamala city by one, i've walked down dark streets, alone, in places unknown, i've eatten things like birds nest, goat head, and soup that looked a bit like snot, i've seen a small shark while i was snorkeling, i've even taken genetics. but nothing compares the anxiety that buying a house has caused me. i had diarrhea all day yesterday. anxiety does crap for my bowels (pun? no. truth.).

we are now caught in the middle of what the realty world calls the "counter-offer." apparently the people did not like our crappy offer and they countered with an equally crappy offer. so now we've both got our guns drawn and there really ain't room enough for the both of us in this town. so, we'll counter with another fairly crappy offer and hope that they meet us in the middle somewhere.

i guess this wouldn't be all bad if it wasn't for the fact that i am in the middle of mid-terms and brett started a new job yesterday. crazy young lives. -sn