3: the dirt
SARA GOES TO NIGERIA TO HOPEFULLY BE THE HANDS, FEET, EARS, MOUTH OF JESUS.
i do a lot of research at work. i read the bbc news site everyday. there are times when i weep at my desk b/c of the stories i read about my world. the natural disasters, the greed, the poverty, the injustice, the death, the war, all of these things make me feel small and powerless. it is hard to know where to start. but i've found that if you keep your eyes open for opportunities Jesus steps in a shows you that, with him, you're not powerless at all.
i remember sitting at my desk. it was the end of november and there were lots of stories about the AIDS epidemic, leading up to World AIDS day on December 8. suddenly an idea started forming in my head. it was a crazy idea, an idea that would cost a lot of money, involve a lot of hard work, an idea that saw me taking chemistry [insert scary movie music here]. i should become a nurse.i should become a nurse.i should become a nurse. this idea repeated again and again in my head for weeks. i couldn't shake it.
i slowly started to leak this pesty idea into the ears of people who know me best. it was first met with reactions of disbelief, "you? a nurse?" but slowly, slowly these people that i trust with my secrets began saying things like, "yeah, i could see that," or, "i think you might be good at that." i started to half-heartedly look up information about nursing. i didn't know the first thing about being a nurse besides the fact that they get to wear scrubs to work. that in and of itself is reason to sign up. but the thought of CHEMISTRY [bum, bum BUUUUUUM] was still enough to keep me from actually persuing anything. it took a year and a simple prayer to finally convince me to sign up.
i was at church for the first meeting of the jr. high youth group. a few elders came to pray over each of us leaders individually before the kids blew in. when it was my turn to be prayed over this woman elder stepped up to the plate. the rest of the elders surrounded me and put their hands on my shoulders and on my back. it felt kind of creepy. but then she started praying. she spent a good three minutes praying that i would have "healing hands." maybe it was my frame of mind. maybe it was that idea that kept repeating itself in my ever-running mind. but i took her prayer as a sign. i became accutely aware of the hands that were on me. they felt warm and encouraging and strengthening. i thought, "i could have hands like these." i passed chemistry with an A.
sometimes life seems so muddled. sometimes life is like the dark grey that IS michigan. but sometimes a light shines through and you can finally see the path. sometimes you're on a bus, alone and you miss an opportunity and it changes your life. sometimes you find yourself standing under a fifty foot statue of the buddha. sometimes you read articles like this one while sitting at your desk and decide to sign up for a chemistry class and three more years of school. and sometimes all of these events lead you to take a leap of faith, travel to Nigeria for two months, and volunteer in a medical clinic with your new hubby.
in two and a half weeks brett and i are on our way to africa. there, i will get my first taste of the medical world. it is amazing and inspiring to look back and see how every trip and stumble, how every good day and every bad day, how every bad choice and every good choice has led me to this point. and it is exciting to know that this is not the end point. this is not the goal, reached. in fact, it feels more like a new beginning. weird how that works isn't it? i'm ready to get my hands dirty. and my tongue is like a spring-board, ready to bounce the name of Jesus in response to anyone who asks me why i've got dirt under my fingernails. -SN
i do a lot of research at work. i read the bbc news site everyday. there are times when i weep at my desk b/c of the stories i read about my world. the natural disasters, the greed, the poverty, the injustice, the death, the war, all of these things make me feel small and powerless. it is hard to know where to start. but i've found that if you keep your eyes open for opportunities Jesus steps in a shows you that, with him, you're not powerless at all.
i remember sitting at my desk. it was the end of november and there were lots of stories about the AIDS epidemic, leading up to World AIDS day on December 8. suddenly an idea started forming in my head. it was a crazy idea, an idea that would cost a lot of money, involve a lot of hard work, an idea that saw me taking chemistry [insert scary movie music here]. i should become a nurse.i should become a nurse.i should become a nurse. this idea repeated again and again in my head for weeks. i couldn't shake it.
i slowly started to leak this pesty idea into the ears of people who know me best. it was first met with reactions of disbelief, "you? a nurse?" but slowly, slowly these people that i trust with my secrets began saying things like, "yeah, i could see that," or, "i think you might be good at that." i started to half-heartedly look up information about nursing. i didn't know the first thing about being a nurse besides the fact that they get to wear scrubs to work. that in and of itself is reason to sign up. but the thought of CHEMISTRY [bum, bum BUUUUUUM] was still enough to keep me from actually persuing anything. it took a year and a simple prayer to finally convince me to sign up.
i was at church for the first meeting of the jr. high youth group. a few elders came to pray over each of us leaders individually before the kids blew in. when it was my turn to be prayed over this woman elder stepped up to the plate. the rest of the elders surrounded me and put their hands on my shoulders and on my back. it felt kind of creepy. but then she started praying. she spent a good three minutes praying that i would have "healing hands." maybe it was my frame of mind. maybe it was that idea that kept repeating itself in my ever-running mind. but i took her prayer as a sign. i became accutely aware of the hands that were on me. they felt warm and encouraging and strengthening. i thought, "i could have hands like these." i passed chemistry with an A.
sometimes life seems so muddled. sometimes life is like the dark grey that IS michigan. but sometimes a light shines through and you can finally see the path. sometimes you're on a bus, alone and you miss an opportunity and it changes your life. sometimes you find yourself standing under a fifty foot statue of the buddha. sometimes you read articles like this one while sitting at your desk and decide to sign up for a chemistry class and three more years of school. and sometimes all of these events lead you to take a leap of faith, travel to Nigeria for two months, and volunteer in a medical clinic with your new hubby.
in two and a half weeks brett and i are on our way to africa. there, i will get my first taste of the medical world. it is amazing and inspiring to look back and see how every trip and stumble, how every good day and every bad day, how every bad choice and every good choice has led me to this point. and it is exciting to know that this is not the end point. this is not the goal, reached. in fact, it feels more like a new beginning. weird how that works isn't it? i'm ready to get my hands dirty. and my tongue is like a spring-board, ready to bounce the name of Jesus in response to anyone who asks me why i've got dirt under my fingernails. -SN
posted by SN at 6:46 PM
1 Comments:
i think this is the first time i have cried without self-centered reason in a very long time. what seems to be a year of selfish tears could never have the impact that 15 minutes of tears shed in the university library in hopes of finding the heart of jesus, to one day be the hands and feet of the lord on the earth is reason to cry tears of joy.
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