my archaeological dig

i've always thought it would be fun to be an archaeologist, to dust off that ancient artifact and reveal all of its secrets, to experience the thrill of finding something that perhaps no other person has ever seen before. well, last week i probably came as close to "archaeologist" as i will ever come...and it wasn't that great.

last week brett and i, with the help of our friend shannon, proudly finished our basement. we ripped down the yellowing ceiling panels and spray painted the rafters, pipes, and wires a dark chocolate brown. we exposed the basement windows from their hiding place behind the 70s style wood paneling and built some windowsills. then, we painted over every surface with a light, cheery colour. and soon, we hope to replace the old orange and brown striped carpet. but, until we are able to afford that...we had to preserve the carpet and not drip paint on it while we gave the walls their make-over. no easy task. brett and i spent hours laying on our sides carefully painting the bottom edge of the wall, trying to avoid leaving a trail of paint along the carpet.

you must realize that the lighting in our basement is, well, non-existent. we had to set up lamps and drag them along with us as we painted. the lamps would sometimes cast eerie shadows, shadows that could sometimes play tricks on our eyes... at one point i was in the basement alone, laying on my side, painting a semi-obscure corner. a dark object in that corner caught my eye. at first glance i thought, "oh! my missing black nylon sock. hooray!" i picked it up. it did not feel like the soft sock my eyes led me to believe that i had seen. it was hard. it was a little bit crunchy. i brought it closer to my face for closer inspection, just like any good archeologist would do. it was a condom.

but not just any condom. this was an ANCIENT condom. it had become hard and crusty with age and the chemical reactions that had taken place over time had changed its colour to black. to whom did this condom belong? was this condom shared b/w two people who experienced true love? why would someone throw a condom in a dark corner of a basement? was this the actual spot of consummation? these are the questions of true archaeologists. i, on the other hand, was too busy washing my hands and holding down my lunch to ask such questions.

it's been said that my house once housed some of calvin's finest (b/c don't ALL calvin students exist under this category?) don't believe for a second if someone tells you that calvin students don't have sex. because they do. i've got archaeological proof. -sn